Ebook Free Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, by Lindsay C. Gibson

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Review

“Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, gives practical insight into a prevalent problem…The book is impeccably clear…This utter lack of confusion makes the book quite soothing, despite the heavy subject. The soothing effect is amplified by Gibson’s caring, knowledgeable voice—it’s easy to believe her when she says, ‘I wish the very best for you.’ This book can be a source of healing for adult children of these kinds of parents—particularly for young adults. But it’s also insightful for bosses, therapists, friends, and anyone else who works with, cares for, and supports the people described in this book. Gibson’s professional background allows her to anticipate people’s emotions and reticence—and urge them gently forward.” —Foreword Magazine“Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is written with the wisdom and heart of a seasoned therapist and the mind of a scholar who’s spent decades poring over psychological research and theory. In this book, Lindsay C. Gibson seamlessly blends this impressive body of knowledge with the real-life experiences of her clients to create a user-friendly and highly readable book. … This book is not about blame but rather about understanding oneself on a deep level and learning to heal.”—Esther Lerman Freeman, PsyD, clinical associate professor at the Oregon Health and Science University School of Medicine“Children cannot choose their parents. Unfortunately, many individuals grow up suffering the life-shaping adversities of having emotionally immature, neglectful parents. With wisdom and compassion, Lindsay C. Gibson enables readers to recognize and better understand these toxic relationships and to create novel, healthy paths of healing. This book provides a powerful opportunity for self-help and is a wonderful resource for therapists to recommend to clients in need.”—Thomas F. Cash, PhD, Professor Emeritus of psychology at Old Dominion University, and author of The Body Image Workbook“Lindsay C. Gibson’s insightful book offers the ‘emotionally lonely’ a step-by-step journey toward self-awareness and healing. Gibson’s revealing anecdotes, enlightening exercises, and honest insight lead the reader to a better understanding of how to connect more fully with oneself and others. This is an excellent book for anyone who feels isolated from family members and seeks to enjoy a more emotionally connected life.”—Peggy Sijswerda, editor and publisher of Tidewater Women (tidewaterwomen.com) and Tidewater Family (tidewaterfamily.com), and author of Still Life with Sierra“Lindsay C. Gibson’s Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is an insightful and compassionate guide for anyone seeking to understand and overcome the long-term impact of growing up in an emotionally barren family. Here you will find sage advice and simple practices that will help you break free from old patterns, connect more deeply with yourself and others, and, ultimately, be the person you were always meant to be.”—Ronald J. Frederick, PhD, psychologist and author of Living Like You Mean It“Lindsay C. Gibson, a very experienced psychotherapist, wrote Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents to provide guidance to adults for self-help in resolving anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties that result from having emotionally immature parents. It is a thorough and detailed description of immature parents, children’s experience of their parenting, and methods to resolve the resulting problems. There are many useful examples from Gibson’s psychotherapy clients. The book includes helpful exercises for self-understanding. A person can use the book to develop emotional maturity and deeper relationships.”—Neill Watson, PhD, research professor and Professor Emeritus of psychology at the College of William and Mary, and clinical psychologist who does research on anxiety, depression, and psychotherapy“Based on years of reading, research, and working with patients, psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson has written an outstanding book about the multiple ways that emotionally immature parents impact the lives of their adult children. I highly recommend Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents for all readers who want to understand the parent/child dynamic. This is an uplifting book that provides hope and superb coping strategies for those who find it difficult or impossible to bond with parents who lack empathy and sensitivity. … Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is full of wisdom that will enable you to relate to your family members and friends in the healthiest way possible—no matter what age you are—and possibly even to recognize what’s behind some of the dysfunctional exchanges depicted in the news and in popular culture.”—Robin Cutler, PhD, historian and author of A Soul on Trial“Lindsay C. Gibson’s book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, is filled with clinical vignettes that will resonate with adult children of emotionally immature parents. The book also offers practical advice and exercises for identifying one’s true self and avoiding the pitfalls of self-images, relationships, and fantasies that undermine one’s psychological well-being. Finally, the book provides solid guidelines for interacting with one’s emotionally immature parents in a manner that avoids painful and damaging recreations of the past. Readers will find relief from recognizing that they are not alone and that they are understood by this remarkable clinician.”—B. A. Winstead, PhD, professor of psychology at Old Dominion University and the Virginia Consortium Program in Clinical Psychology, and coeditor of Psychopathology: Foundations for a Contemporary Understanding, Third Edition

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About the Author

Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine. In the past she has served as an adjunct assistant professor of graduate psychology for the College of William and Mary, as well as for Old Dominion University. Gibson lives and practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

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Product details

Paperback: 216 pages

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (June 1, 2015)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1626251703

ISBN-13: 978-1626251700

Product Dimensions:

6.1 x 0.4 x 9 inches

Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.8 out of 5 stars

502 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#4,519 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

This was a disappointment. It read like an outline with each heading followed by a paragraph or two that was doing little more than presenting several ways to rephrase the heading. This would work best for a simple, basic introduction to the topic. I had hoped for more substance and less repetition.

Recently, I read 3-4 books on children of narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. Each one was valuable in its own way, helping me untangle my thoughts and feelings.What I like about this book, in particular, is that is reveals the systematic nature of emotionally immature thinking, which underlies the behavior of parents, lovers, friends, and public figures. By revealing the pattern and then explaining the cause (self-protection), it allows the reader to depersonalize the behavior and the damage it has done.For the first time, I can feel "It wasn't me. It was never me. And, it's still not me." And, for the first time, I truly understand that it's a fools errand to try to make someone more emotionally mature. It's their path. I need to accept them as they are and decide how I want them in my life, if at all.Lastly, this book is very good for people whose parents weren't excessively narcissistic, who weren't controlling or grandiose in an exaggerated fashion. One's parents can be stable and kind but still deny a deep connection with their children because they can't tolerate negative feelings. This book reveals these more subtle dynamics while explaining that the fallout is anything but subtle to a child's emotional development.

There are a few negative reviews that accuse the book of being judgmental and fostering dangerous, exaggerated attitudes toward parents. I actually didn't see that at all. This book gives a name to the subtle disengagement, distance and neglect kids suffer at the hands of parents who probably do a great job of providing food, clothing, shelter and physical safety.I burst into tears reading the chapters on internalizers and how they end up dealing with this; it was like reading my life story. I'm not sure my parents were bad enough to be considered true "narcissists," and I really do believe they love me. But they fall so clearly into the "emotional parent" (my Mom) and "passive parent" (my Dad) the author describes, and it was a disastrous combo for my sense of worth. It explained their behavior right down to exact words and phrases they use, and it also explained MY behavior and some of the self-sabotaging choices I've made as an adult. I was so relieved to hear it wasn't all in my head, that there were things I could do to find real emotional connection with other people, even in my 40s!I didn't come away judging my folks, but rather with new insight on how to deal with them, and how not to waste another minute of my life trying to get through to family members who have no desire to change. I'll take my parents as they are and not expect more than they can give, but also begin holding myself accountable for good choices now that I have this new information with which to move forward. I'm so thankful I found this book- it was dead on in its specificity.

Thank you Lindsay for being born!!! I've read countless self help books by various authors over the last three decades but, still, I never got to the heart of what was causing within me a pervasive sense of sadness, loneliness and not belonging. I've lived life mostly on the outside and in a detached way. Seldom did I feel that I fully connected with others. People would say I was a very likable person but I couldn't understand why. I never knew that I was attractive until a friend told me when I was in my teens. Even then I thought why is she saying that? I often took a backseat because I didn't have the confidence to stand up and be noticed. I could give countless examples going way back to my early childhood but suffice to say that Lindsay's book is the story of my live.I'm an internalizer. My sister is and externalizer. In many ways my parents weren't mature enough to deal with my sister's temper tantrums and her destructiveness. I was always on the receiving end of my sister's evil doings but my parents blamed me for her s. They would give in to her all the time and at my expense. They had no control of her. My sister and mother were always together and my father adored my sister whilst, I was the pregnancy they didn't want. Yes, my mother told me that she tried to abort me during the first five months of her pregnancy, but in her words said, I couldn't get rid of you! So, she said, you were born and we were stuck with you like it or not. I was about seven years old at the time and didn't fully understand then what she was saying until I grew older.Mother's jealousy, envy and resentment towards me were not recognized at the time but, on reflection, I now realize how damaging it was. I reflect back to when I was 15 and the only emotion that I recall was a deep sense of loneliness which I have carried with me since. Who am I? Where do I fit in? Why do I feel flawed as a human being? Why do I not feel good enough? Never ending questions. In my loneliness I felt an ever ending sorrow that I couldn't comprehend that, is, until I read Lindsay's book. I've lived most of my life with a multitude of conflicting and confusing emotions that neither I or any therapist I've seen or other books I've read has touch the spot quite like, 'Emotionally Immature Parents'. The decades have gone by and I'm now 65... at last I understand the emotional damage done throughout my early childhood and the life long affect it has had on me. However, all the could have's, would have's and should have's won't change a thing but, there's one thing for sure and that is, for the rest of my days I'll have clarity and an inner peace that I've never had. My heart is lighter and the anger all spent... what a wonderful place to be! Thank you from the bottom of my heart Lindsay. You are and angel in disguise.

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